Do you actually know that you're God? Are you living in oblivion? Are you even alive? Do you know that we see you as perfect? Do you know that we worship you? Do you know that we are living in hope to become you? Is this hope for the hopeless? Because God, be honest with me, do you like being God? Are you looking at us thinking that we are ridiculous because we want to be you? Are you miserable and wanting us to CHOOSE THE WRONG so we don't end up like you? Well, just in case, I've decided to play it safe and walk the beautiful line between right and wrong. I have been told it's impossible, but I've been doing this for years. I have no idea where the hell I'm going. Do you?
Are you disappointed in me? I just don't know what I believe in anymore. But God, I believe in you. I'll always believe in you. I will even believe in you in February. I don't believe in anything in February. I don't believe in me. I don't believe in anyone. But God, come February, I'm going to believe in you even if I pretend you don't exist. Even if I pretend I don't exist. Because God, I think you save my life everyday.
You're my friend when I'm lonely. I know that. You're always my friend even when I'm not your friend. But God, do YOU need a friend? Are you lonely? I can be your friend. Maybe you're bored. I can entertain you. Maybe your sick of being God. Maybe you want to run away.
What would happen if you ran away? Maybe I don't comprehend all that you do. Would babies be born? Would people die? Would the sun rise? Would the rivers run? Would smiling still exist?
God, you probably shouldn't run away.
But if you need my help doing so, give me a call. I'm assuming you know my number.
I'm not sure if I'll ever be the same again.
ReplyDeleteOh, and the part about February. (Catches breath.)
"I don't believe in anything in February."
ReplyDeleteNeither do I.
"Maybe I don't comprehend all that you do"
ReplyDeleteWow... I want to talk to him the way you do.
So personal.
A life altering perspective on the big guy. Like who is he and is he as lost as we are.
ReplyDeleteLike you discredit him a bit at the beginning but know you couldn't ever give up on him either.
I don't know, something about a relationship like that. And the fact that it's about God.
Hi. I hope this message finds you well (or, finds you at all, really) I have tried to find you on a social media, but haven't had any luck. To be honest, i forgot your last name. Do people actually admit that to each other? My name is Lauren Harper. I was the girl who always looked pissed and wore black a lot (I actually was always pissed). If you find this message, reach out to me. Please. laurenvalharper@gmail.com
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